


His Master's Voice

by JonaSteinebach



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, New Doctor, TARDIS - Freeform, Twelfth Doctor - Freeform, companion - Freeform, doctor who - Freeform, twelve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-22 22:23:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JonaSteinebach/pseuds/JonaSteinebach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alice, a girl in her early twenties, is unhappy about her life. Having wanted to live in London even as a child, she is still stuck in the hamlet where she has lived since she was born, appropriately named Backwater. Here she takes care of her mother, who fell ill shortly after her father had left and disappeared. On an otherwise uneventful day, a strange man disturbs the wretched peace by running into her house and fainting on the doorstep. He introduces himself as the Doctor and claims to travel in a time machine. Alice follows him into the wooden box he says is his spaceship and discovers an amazing reality. The Doctor takes her to London for the first time in her life, where he sets out to investigate local riots, which Alice had not thought much of. Overwhelmed by all the impressions and scared by what might happen next, she backs out and returns home. Later, when she sees the eccentric man's blue box carried away by a crowd of insurgents, she knows something has to be done. Soon she will discover that this is much more than just a riot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Master's Voice

**Author's Note:**

> This is written as a script for an episode of Doctor Who, introducing a new Doctor and companion. Some parts have been left blank as I didn't do my research. I actually wrote "It's smaller on the outside" before Christmas and I think I can prove it by showing some emails. I am new to this site, so I don't know how to upload the evidence. I will do it when requested to. I am currently working on a novella version of the same story, but it's going to take a while because I am slow.

Episode 1: His Master’s Voice  
Shot from the moon, zooms in on somewhere in Northern England into a town. More specifically, into the house of a girl in her early twenties.  
She is watching a news report on riots in London. The kettle starts whistling from the kitchen. She walks to the kitchen and makes tea.  
The girl is startled by apparently nothing and drops a teacup. After she has cleaned up the mess, she walks back into the living room.  
Suddenly, a man comes bursting through the door.  
Man: Hiya! I’m the Doctor. He faints.  
Opening Title  
Waking up into the face of the girl.  
The Doctor exhales regeneration stuff.  
Girl: Aah!  
Doctor: Aah! He jumps out of bed  
Girl: Who are you and what are you doing in my house?  
Doctor: No time: I’ve got to make eerm… He walks toward the door. Go to the eerm… I need to stop  
the_ He turns around to the girl holding a gun.  
Girl: I demand to know who you are.  
Doctor: Wow! Hold on, I’m good people. Eleven of them at least, maybe more, I don’t know yet.  
Girl: What do you mean? Lowers gun.  
Doctor: Long story. What’s with the gun?  
Girl: It was my father’s. I’m sorry, I haven’t been myself lately. She puts the gun down. Are you alright?  
Doctor: I’m fine.  
Alice: Good. Now tell me: Who are you?  
Doctor: As I said, I’m the Doctor.  
Girl: You break into my house, faint on my doorstep, give me the scare of a lifetime and now you  
refuse to tell me your name?  
Doctor: Basically.  
Girl: Fine, be that way.  
So, if you won’t tell me who you are, you should at least tell me what brings you to my house.  
Doctor: That blue box outside.  
The girl looks out the window.  
Girl: What’s a Police Box?  
Doctor: It’s a street-based police outpost from the 1960’s, equipped with an exterior telephone to contact the station.  
Girl: You’re saying you came here in a 1960’s miniature police station?  
Doctor: No, it´s a spaceship disguised as a 1960´s miniature police station.  
Girl: I don’t believe you.  
Doctor: Okay.  
I forgot to ask: Where are we?  
Girl: Backwater.  
Doctor: Yes, I’ve noticed that, but how is it called?  
Girl: Backwater.  
Doctor: This town is called Backwater?  
Girl: Yup.  
Doctor (snigger): You mean there’s actually a town called Backwater?  
Girl (annoyed): I think the meaning is derived from this place.  
Doctor (neutral): Backwater, lovely.  
Girl: Not really. I hate it here. I want to move to London.  
Doctor: What’s keeping you?  
Girl: It’s my mum; she fell ill a year ago. I have to take care of her.  
Doctor: That’s really noble of you. Sighs. Pauses. What’s your name?  
Girl: Alice, my name is Alice.  
Doctor: Alice, that’s very lovely, reminds me of liquorice.  
Alice: Hey!  
Doctor: What? I like liquorice, I believe. As a matter of fact, you don’t happen to have any, do you? I could really go for some liquorice right now. I think.  
Alice thinks: We should have some downstairs.  
Doctor: Great, thanks!  
The Doctor leaves the room, followed by Alice.  
Doctor: So, you mentioned the gun you threatened to shoot me with having belonged to you fa_  
He misses the second step down the staircase and falls all the way down.  
Alice gasps: Are you alright?  
Doctor: I’m fine. This sort of thing usually happens to me the first few days.  
Alice: First few days of what?  
Doctor: A new me. Speaking of that...  
He walks up to a mirror in the hallway, while Alice is making her way down the stairs.  
Looking in the mirror, he is surprised at the first sight.  
This will have to do.  
He runs his hands up his face examining, starting at the chin, following his hand in the mirror with his eyes. His hand reaches his hair.  
Doctor: Gasps excitedly. Finally!  
Alice walks up beside him: Finally what?  
Doctor: I’m finally ginger!  
Alice: Finally ginger? A new you? I don’t understand. Besides, it’s more golden blond.  
On their way to the kitchen they pass through the living room.  
Doctor: Well, you see, when something happens that would kill you, I_  
The news report catches his eye.  
Anchorwoman: Coming to you live on the London riots.  
Doctor (alarmed): Quick, what’s the time?  
Alice: Around noon, what’s the matter?  
Doctor: I mean what year is it?  
Alice: How can you not know this?  
Doctor: I’ll explain later, what year is it?  
Alice: 2025.  
Doctor: Aha! Sorry, got to go. Thanks for your hospitality and, you know, not shooting me.  
He throws her a cute smile and dashes out the front door into the TARDIS.  
Alice (determined): Later won’t do.  
She follows him into the blue box.  
Alice marvels at the sight of the TARDIS interior, without spotting a sign of the Doctor. The TARDIS starts whooshing and Alice, overwhelmed, hides behind something and closes her eyes.  
The TARDIS stops whooshing and Alice, still quite dazed, opens her eyes onto face of the Doctor, who is standing right behind her. She starts from his sudden appearance.  
Doctor: Beautiful, isn’t she?  
Alice: It’s, it’s…  
The Doctor looks at her in anticipation  
smaller on the outside.  
Doctor (slightly disappointed): Yeah, I guess you could say that. She’s a TARDIS: Time and Relative Dimensions in Space.  
He starts toward the exit.  
Come on, get up.  
Alice: Huh?  
Doctor: Well, you followed me in here, now are you going to stay inside or are you coming back out with me?  
Alice gets up speechlessly and follows the Doctor out of the TARDIS. Alice looks around.  
Alice: We’ve… we’ve moved. That thing is a spaceship.  
Doctor: Told you so.  
Alice: Where are we?  
Doctor: We, my dear Alice, are standing on planet Earth. More specifically, we’re in [name of alley] alley. Less specifically, we’re in London.  
Alice: Wow, London, finally.  
Doctor: Are you saying you’ve never seen the City before?  
Alice: Nope.  
Doctor: But if you want to move here so badly, why have you never been here before?  
Alice: Everything seems to be going on in London, but my father wouldn’t let me go here. Said it was too dangerous.  
Doctor: Wise man.  
Alice: After he left us a few years ago, I couldn’t see London because of my mum.  
Doctor: Oh. I’m sorry.  
Alice: Don’t be, he’s a bastard.  
Say, Doctor, why are we here?  
Doctor: Well, I’m here because of the riots and you’re here because you were a stowaway on the TARDIS, remember? Now there’s a word I don’t get to say as often as I’d like: Stowaway, stow-a-way.  
Alice: What about these riots?  
Doctor: I don’t know yet; all I know is that it’s going to get ugly.  
Alice: How can you tell?  
Doctor: In a hundred years people will still be talking about the insurrection of 2025.  
Alice: But what’s so special about it? There are riots in London almost every other year.  
Doctor: No idea, I didn’t pay attention.  
Alice: I don’t understand. What are you saying?  
Doctor: The TARDIS –as the name suggests– can also travel through time.  
Alice: That’s it. You’re lying. This is a trick. You’re a madman. A madman with a box.  
Doctor: That may all very well be, but here we are. [x] miles from your doorstep.  
Alice: I refuse to believe that blue box can travel through time and space.  
Doctor: Then why did you follow me in?  
Silence  
Doctor: So, are you coming or not?  
Alice: Fine. While I’m going insane anyway.  
They walk out of the alley, into a main street in Newham. It’s deserted.  
Doctor: Where is everybody? They should be here, they always are.  
Alice: You don’t know where they are? You’re investigating riots and you don’t know where they are?  
Doctor: I’d sort of assumed they’d be here.  
You were watching the news report when I came in. What were they saying?  
Alice thinks: A great group of people had gathered somewhere around here.  
Doctor: Ha! But where are they now?  
Alice: They… Thinks were heading north.  
Doctor: North. North. North, what’s up north? Sits down to think  
Think! Think like a group of angry people. Mimics anger: Grrrr! Banks, any banks up north? Police stations? Why north?  
Alice, slightly bored, checks her phone.  
Alice: Oh, I’ve missed a call from my mum. Better phone her back to say I’m alright.  
Alice dials.  
That’s odd, it’s not working  
The Doctor is still muttering, deep in thought.  
Alice: Doctor, can I borrow your phone?  
Doctor: Huh, wha? Sorry, don’t have one.  
Alice: Of course you don’t. To a woman: Ma’am! Excuse me, ma’am, might I borrow your phone for a quick call to my mother? You see, she’s ill and I need_  
Woman: Sure. Please, keep it short.  
Alice: Thank you ma’am, will do.  
Holds the phones next to each other and starts dialling.  
Alice: Not working either, damn. No reception. I think something’s wrong with the phone lines.  
Doctor: That’s it! British Telecom! They’ve attacked British Telecom. Good job, Alice.  
Alice: Thanks, I guess.  
Doctor: But why? Why disable the phone lines? Alice, you said the crowd formed here?  
Alice: Yeah, I think they passed through this street.  
Doctor: Do you notice anything odd about this street?  
Alice: Not really. No.  
Doctor: Look carefully, what do you see, that’s out of order?  
Alice: I don’t know.  
Doctor: Come on! Try harder, look around!  
Alice (agitated): I see nothing! It’s just a street.  
Doctor: Exactly! A crowd of a few thousand angry people just passed through here and there’s no damage whatsoever. Such discipline. This is hardly a mob at all; it’s more like an army.  
Alice: But who would be able to organize such a crowd?  
Doctor: Let’s find out. To British Telecom it is. Come along.  
Alice: I’m sorry, but no. I’m not going back into that box.  
Doctor: Alright, suit yourself. It’s been nice meeting you, Alice.  
The Doctor starts off toward the TARDIS  
Alice: Doctor!  
The Doctor turns around expectantly.  
Doctor: Yes?  
Alice: Could you take me home?  
Doctor (noticeably disappointed): Sure. Hop in.  
They get in the TARDIS.  
The TARDIS starts vworping and disappears.  
The TARDIS reappears at Alice’s house.  
Alice disembarks; the Doctor remains in the doorframe.  
Doctor: Goodbye, Alice.  
Alice: Goodbye, Doctor.  
It’s been nice meeting you. To the Doctor’s great surprise, she turns around and hugs him.  
Alice releases him, turns around and, without saying a word, walks to her front door.  
The Doctor watches her until she’s closed the door. Then he steps back into the TARDIS.  
The Doctor works his magic and the TARDIS sets off.  
The Doctor exits the TARDIS, when it has come to a halt.  
A multitude of people are marching towards a building complex topped by a phone mast.  
Doctor: Oh dear.  
The Doctor jogs to the crowd and walks alongside the marching column  
He addresses a man who’s walking in the formation.  
Doctor: Hiya, how are you doing?  
Man (Heavy London accent): Hi, I’m fine, how about you?  
Doctor: I’m alright, thanks for asking.  
Man: My name’s Clyde, what’s yours?  
Doctor: I’m the Doctor. It’s nice to make your acquaintance, Clyde.  
Clyde: Briefly looks puzzled. A real doctor? What are you doing here?  
Doctor: Sightseeing, I guess. So, where are we heading again?  
Clyde: Points to the phone tower. That big building over there.  
Doctor: Why are we going to BT?  
Clyde (blandly and strangely intonated): It is imperative.  
Doctor: Come again?  
Clyde (London): Huh?  
Doctor: Never mind.  
Imperative for what?  
Clyde (strangely): Our objective must be accomplished, no questions asked.  
Doctor: What objective?  
Clyde: No questions asked.  
Doctor: Alright, strange.  
Clyde (London): What is?  
Doctor: This planet.  
Clyde: True, sometimes it seems the whole world’s gone insane.  
Doctor: I’ve got to get going, stay safe.  
Clyde: Thanks doctor, you too.  
The Doctor speeds to the front of the column, at the entrance of the building.  
He enters the building and looks around. Employees are being rounded up and tied down.  
Doctor: Sooo. What are we up to?  
A woman is standing in the middle of a small group of people, giving strangely intonated and repetitive commands.  
Woman (strangely): The employees are to be restrained.  
Doctor (imitating strange voice): Requesting instructions.  
Woman: The employees are to be restrained.  
Doctor (normally): Well you’re no good. Walks away.  
The intercom jingles.  
Low smooth strangely intonated voice: All technically proficient personnel are to report to the control room.  
Doctor: Excellent! No I don’t like that. Outstanding! Not that either… Superb (Brooklyn)! I hate that. Never mind.  
He follows a group of engineers who have by now almost gone out of sight, into the control room.  
Having entered the control room he slips out of sight. The Doctor looks around.  
Doctor: Wow. The contents of the room consist of ordinary human control panels patched together with alien technology.  
People are working to get hardware attached or typing on the panels.  
Doctor: Look what we have here. He inspects an unused device. What are you doing here? What’s all this for? He types into the computer.  
Fascinating. An anti-signal transmitter. What kind of signal? He types some more. Low frequency radio transmission, hmmm. And that’s just this one. How about… that one? He sonics another terminal. He briefly sonics his own. Types more yet.  
GPS-signal! Let’s try one more. He sonics another terminal. Again his own machine. Internet reception. They’re taking out communication. This is no riot, it’s an invasion!  
The intercom jingles  
Low smooth strangely intonated voice: All unauthorized personnel shall be arrested and executed.  
All around the Doctor, people are getting up.  
Doctor (to himself): Time for me to go.  
He tries to sneak off, but fails horribly by bumping into one of the computers, knocking it over.  
Doctor: Seriously? First stairs and now… Seriously!?  
People are approaching him  
Doctor: Bye. He runs away, followed.  
As soon as he reaches the outside of the building, he vanishes into the crowd and acts natural.  
Doctor: So, what to do? Police cars are pulling up nearby, sirens wailing and lights flashing.  
He strolls out of the crowd towards cars.  
Just call the police then.  
Oi! He runs over to the police, who are looking his way.  
Policeman: Good day, sir.  
Doctor: Hiya. Listen, these riots aren’t riots. They’re a revolt. The crowd just installed a jammer and they’re about to disable all communications. You’d better call for backup before it’s too late.  
Policeman (strangely): Our objective must be completed.  
He knocks the Doctor out with his police baton.  
Alice enters her mother´s bedroom.  
Alice: Are you awake?  
Mother (muffled by blanket): Yes. (No longer muffled.) Hi honey.  
Alice: Hi mum, how are you?  
Mother: I’m fine, just a little tired.  
Alice: I made you some tea.  
Mother: Thank you, honey.  
Alice: Would you like a sandwich?  
Mother: No, thank you, I’m not hungry.  
Alice: But you have to eat something.  
Mother: I’m really not hungry.  
Alice: Please mum, for me.  
Mother: Alright then. Marmalade please.  
Alice: I’ll be right back.  
Alice leaves the room and descends the stairs. After the first few steps she hears voices whispering. Alice breathes more heavily. More and more voices start whispering all around her as she is stumbling down the stairs. Some things are subtly (hardly noticeably) different: painting moving, colours shifting, the stairs are longer than they were.  
When she reaches the bottom of the staircase, the voices stop. A shot up the stairs.  
Mother: Honey? Are you alright?  
Alice: I’m okay.  
She walks down the last few steps of the stairs and enters the kitchen through the living room.  
When she’s finished making the sandwich she passes through the living room again. The TV catches her eye. The final bits of some show (may be used for foreshadowing) are followed by a news report.  
Anchorwoman: This is Cindy Powell for GBB news reporting to you on the riots, which are spreading nationwide. A shot of a column marching; a few people in the background are carrying the TARDIS. In London, a detachment of the crowd has left the British Telecom building and is apparently heading for Central London. Police have arrived at the scene, but have not intervened yet. A shot of the BT building complex, guarded by people. A small segment of the mob seems to be guarding the BT complex. Again a shot of the marching folk, but this time the TARDIS is clearly visible.  
Alice: That’s the Doctor’s: I wonder if he’s alright. I only just met the man. I’m sure he’s fine. Well, he didn’t look very capable of taking care of himself. Fell twice in less than an hour. Maybe I should_  
Cindy: This just came in: People are assaulting Buckingham Palace. The royal palace is und_ The TV shifts to static.  
Alice flips through the some channels; all display static (except one perhaps): The Doctor was right! Something’s off about these riots. And now his TARDES has been taken. If I don’t help him no one will. She hurries up the stairs and puts down the sandwich.  
Alice: Mum, I’ve got to go. I’ll be back in time to make dinner, will you be alright?  
Mother: Bye, honey. I’ll be fine. Have a nice day.  
Alice: Thanks mum, bye.  
She leaves the house and jogs to the town centre; the church clock is a prominent presence.  
Alice reaches the train station and walks up to the ticket booth.  
Alice: Good day sir. I’d like one return ticket to London.  
Man: Sorry dear, trains are down in the whole of Britain.  
Alice: What’s the problem?  
Man: All communications have been disabled; it would be much too dangerous to have trains driving around uncoordinated. You could try taking a cab, if you can find one: phone lines are out as well.  
Alice: Thank you, sir.  
Man: No problem. Good luck.  
Alice runs off toward a taxi gathering point, no one is there. A cab pulls up and, as the passenger is leaving the vehicle, an elderly man approaches the car.  
Alice: May I please have this taxi? It’s an emergency.  
Elderly man: I’ve been waiting for over an hour.  
Alice: I understand, but this is a matter of life and death: it involves the London riots.  
Elderly man: This had better be important. Go ahead.  
Alice: I am forever grateful, sir.  
Elderly man: Take care.  
Alice boards the taxi.  
Driver: Good afternoon, where do you want me to take you?  
Alice: Hi. London please.  
Driver: London’s a big place, you know.  
Alice thinks: Eeeh… Buckingham Palace please.  
Driver: Aren’t you afraid of the riots?  
Alice: I am; that’s why I need to go.  
The taxi drives off.  
The Doctor is in a concrete cell with a glass door. He’s unconscious.  
He wakes up.  
Doctor: Helloooo! Is anyone there? Let me out of here!  
(Sarcastic) Sure, yell: Like that’s worked before.  
Now, to escape. He reaches in his pocket.  
Doctor: My sonic! They took my sonic!  
Now what? Alright: calm down. Where am I? Glass doors, breathing holes, no fellow prisoners, clean cell and concrete walls. Oh and I was knocked out by a policeman. So I’m guessing I’m at the station.  
That means these doors have no control relay, so no external override. Just a lock and a key.  
In short, I can’t get out. This should be fun.  
The taxi stops, a few streets from Buckingham Palace  
Driver: I’m sorry, but I won’t go any further; neither should you. It’s much too dangerous.  
Alice: I understand. How much do I owe you?  
Driver: That’ll be eighty pounds please.  
Alice: That’s almost twice your normal rates!  
Driver: I’m sorry, but I watch the news too. It’s been quite a risk going here. Besides, who knows when my next ride’s going to be?  
Alice: It’s okay, here you go. She hands him a hundred pound note. Never mind the change.  
Driver: Thanks ma’am. Bless you.  
Alice leaves the taxi, which then drives off.  
Buckingham Palace is being assailed, while Guards are lying on the ground, unconscious or tied.  
A substantial police force is present, but they are simply standing by.  
Alice runs up to a policewoman, astonished by what she’s witnessing.  
Alice: Why aren’t you doing anything? People are getting hurt!  
Policewoman (strangely): Our objective must be completed, undisturbed.  
Alice: What are you talking about? They are about to take Buckingham Palace  
Policewoman (strangely): Order is to be maintained.  
Alice (shouting): Then do your bloody job!  
Policewoman turns toward Alice (strangely): Order is to be maintained. She starts approaching Alice.  
Alice (understandingly): Ah. She turns and runs.  
The policewoman follows her a few steps, then turns back.  
Alice walks up to a tourist.  
Alice: Hello sir.  
Tourist (Dutch or Eastern European accent.): Hello.  
Alice: Do you know what’s going on here?  
Tourist: The police was here before the mob.  
Alice: Why aren’t they doing anything?  
Tourist: I don’t know; it is like they are waiting for something.  
Alice: Did you see a big blue box come this way?  
Tourist: Yes. I saw a wood box was carried by the people. I took pictures.  
Alice: Where were they taking it?  
Tourist: They went behind the palace and after that I didn’t see them.  
Alice (excited): Thank you very much.  
She runs around the palace in a wide arc to the rear.  
A small encampment of rabble has formed around the TARDIS.  
Alice: Alright. Sighs. Let’s do this.  
Alice walks into the camp, acting casual.  
She encounters a guard.  
Guard (strangely intonated): Access to the blue box is to be denied.  
Alice (imitating intonation): New orders have come through. I have been ordered to inspect the box.  
Guard (strangely intonated): All orders will come directly from the Commander.  
Suspicious elements are to be detained.  
Alice: On to plan B.  
She draws her father’s gun.  
Alice: I am getting into the blue box, or someone is going to get shot.  
Guard: Hostile elements must be neutralised.  
People gather around Alice.  
Alice: Don’t make me fire this.  
The people are getting closer.  
Alice: I’m warning you.  
She takes the gun in two hands and aims. She closes her eyes.  
When she pulls the trigger, the gun emits a bright flare of light.  
While the guards are blinded and disoriented, she runs up to the TARDIS.  
She pushes against the doors, but they remain shut.  
Meanwhile, the guards have recovered and surrounded her.  
She notices them and, frightened, she turns around.  
As they get closer, she presses her back against the TARDIS doors.  
Blackout.  
Alice screams.  
The Doctor hears a sound: someone approaching his cell.  
Doctor: Hello?  
Person: Hello.  
Doctor: Who are you?  
Person: I’m Owen, you?  
Doctor: I’m the Doctor. You one of them?  
Owen: Yup. I’m on the force.  
Doctor: So I guess the entire police force is with them.  
Owen: Some refused to join and left, others resisted.  
Doctor: What happened to them?  
Owen (strangely intonated): Hostile elements must be neutralized.  
Doctor: Thought as much. Who’s holding your leash?  
Owen (strangely): The Commander is to remain unidentified.  
Doctor: Is your commander at the station?  
Owen (strangely): The Commander’s position is to remain undisclosed.  
Doctor: Of course it is. Have you ever seen this Commander?  
Owen: I don’t think anyone has. He gives his orders strictly vocally.  
Doctor: I’ve got one more question.  
Owen: Go ahead.  
Doctor: Are you my executioner?  
Owen: Afraid so.  
Doctor: Shame.  
Owen: So it is.  
Owen has a gun holstered on his belt.  
He starts looking for the right key to the cell on his keychain. He’s got about six keys on it.  
The Doctor sighs.  
Owen finds the right key and approaches the cell door.  
He opens it and draws his gun.  
Suddenly the TARDIS materialises around the Doctor. Owen is locked outside.  
Alice (from behind him): Hiya!  
The Doctor’s face lights up, all the tension being replaced by mirth and surprise.  
Doctor: Alice! I knew you’d come back.  
Alice: Really?  
Doctor: Nope. I thought I was going to meet my end at the hands of a guy named Owen.  
Alice chuckles.  
Doctor: How did you get here?  
Alice: I was watching the news and I saw the TARDES_  
Doctor: TARDIS.  
Alice: Right. TARDIS being carried away. I found it, but they backed me up against the doors. Flashback. Just when I thought they were going to kill me, the doors opened and I fell in. Then the TARDIS just took off and brought me here.  
Doctor: Oh, lovely. You brilliant, marvellous machine.  
Alice: Aaaalright… Doctor, who are these people?  
Doctor: Just people, malcontents.  
Alice: But they talk so strange, act so orderly.  
Doctor: I’m still figuring that out, give me a minute.  
Alice: Isn’t this Owen fellow going to try to get in?  
Doctor: He will try, sure. But these walls can resist a nuclear strike Believe me, they have.  
Alice: They’re wooden!  
Doctor: Disguised as wooden.  
Alice: Why did you choose to disguise it as a police box? Nobody knows what these are anymore.  
Doctor: And yet no one seems to notice, or care. Did you?  
Alice: I suppose you’re right. So, what’s the plan?  
Doctor: Turns out, the entire London police force is on their side.  
Alice: That explains a lot.  
Doctor: Had a run-in with the law?  
Alice: Something like that.  
Doctor: What I’ve been meaning to ask: where did you actually find the TARDIS?  
Alice: Behind Buckingham Palace.  
Doctor (surprised): Buckingham? These guys must be poorly informed.  
Alice: What do you mean?  
Doctor: They’ve disabled all forms of communication, so my guess is they’re committing a coup.  
Alice: But if they’ve shut off all communications, where are they getting their orders? This guard mentioned only following direct orders from ‘The Commander’ She says this in a funny voice.  
I don’t suppose this guy is walking around giving all these orders personally.  
Doctor: That’s it! Awesome! No… Splendid! Hmmm. Exquisite, naah.  
Alice: What are you doing?  
Doctor: I’m looking for a particular phrase to express enthusiasm. Something that suits me. In case I get an identity crisis of sorts.  
Alice: Marvellous?  
Doctor (as if testing): Marvellous. Marvellous… I’ll get back to you on that.  
Anyway: Owen told me The Commander never shows himself to his subjects. So, as you said, he must be transmitting his orders. With communications down nationwide, the only signal left is The Commander’s itself. If I have the TARDIS trace it back to its source typing, it will lead us… TARDIS signal. To the other side of this building. On your feet!  
The Doctor swings open one of the TARDIS doors.  
Alice (alarmed): Doctor! How about Owen?  
Doctor: Ah. Right. He looks around.  
No sign of him.  
Alice has walked up beside him.  
Alice: Eerm, Doctor?  
Owen lies unconscious near the door knocked out by the Doctor’s vigorous opening it.  
Doctor: Oops. Sorry.  
The Doctor takes the keys off Owen.  
Doctor: Here. He tosses the keys to Alice. Lock the door behind you, in case he wakes up.  
It’s the blue one.  
Alice locks the cell door, after our heroes ;) have left it.  
Doctor: The signal came from the communications room. Follow me, act casual and don’t speak to anyone.  
Alice (imitating strange intonation): I will obey all orders.  
The Doctor shoots her an annoyed glance and starts walking.  
After a while they encounter two guards.  
Doctor: Hiya.  
Guards: Hello.  
Alice looks at the Doctor questioningly.  
The Doctor gives Alice one of his vintage smartass looks.  
They walk on.  
The hallway splits in a straight section and a corner to the left.  
The Doctor almost walks past the corner, but Alice pulls him back at the last moment.  
They discreetly look around the corner and spot two guards.  
Doctor: Okay, these guys are not just going to let us past. We have to find another way in. Side entrance? Unlikely existent; certainly guarded. Think. Think! Psychic paper? Not if they have orders to keep everyone out. Ventilation shafts? Of course not. Centre of the building means no windows. Come on, think! Ah!  
The Doctor holds his ear to the wall and taps it. He walks a few feet away from the intersection and repeats.  
Alice: What are you doing?  
Doctor: The phone lines in the com room were only made to broadcast to about fifty thousand constables, now they’re supporting a nationwide legion of handheld transceivers beside that. It takes a lot of energy to boost the signal that much. Lots of energy means a big cable. Find the cable and you find a way in.  
After doing this a few times, he hears a hollow sound.  
Doctor: This way. They set off while the Doctor keeps occasionally knocking on the wall.  
They reach the garage for police cars. There are only police cars and –vans parked in it.  
Doctor: Aha! It’s a Dulvocian Gazemapper, a small passenger transport. The Dulvox are persuaders. As long as you don’t listen attentively to what they’re telling you, the mesmerizing rhythm of their voices can make you do almost anything.  
Alice: Like subliminal messaging.  
Doctor: Exactly. Well, not exactly. Well, not remotely. But yeah, like subliminal messaging.  
That must be why they targeted a riot. Most of these people aren’t particularly discerning; they’re only focused on social misconduct. Everything we heard them say, was an exactly repeated order.  
Alice: But Doctor, I don’t see anything but police cars.  
Doctor: It’s probably outfitted with a perception filter. It’s there, but you don’t want to see it. Follow my finger.  
The Doctor points at the centre of the room.  
Suddenly a spaceship can be seen, from it spring a multitude of cables, bundled together, that vanish into a previously unaccountable hole in the wall.  
Alice: Now that is a spaceship!  
Doctor: It’s okay, I guess. Nothing special.  
Alice: Says the man in the wooden box.  
Doctor: Don’t judge a banana by its peel.  
Alice looks confused.  
Doctor: What I don’t understand is why the Dulvox are invading England: They’ve got a blossoming empire of several highly advanced systems. And why invade like this? Their war fleet has no rival in these parts, why send a civilian transport?  
Alice: Let’s get in there and find out.  
Doctor: We can’t. The door is locked and they’ve taken my sonic.  
Alice: Your what?  
Doctor: My sonic screwdriver. I haven’t shown you my sonic?  
That’s one of my best tricks.  
Alice: You owe me that then.  
Doctor: Well, back to plan A. To the com room. Mind your head.  
They walk towards the hole in the wall. There is some room between the wall and the cable, as the hole has been crudely made.  
Alice follows the Doctor inside.  
After a while, they enter the com room, an ordinary communications centre, interconnected by alien thingumabobs, much like the BT broadcast chamber. They step out of the narrow corridor, onto a ledge. At the far side of the room a large screen hangs on the wall, it is alien technology.  
In the middle of the room stands an alien throne-like chair, its back facing Alice and the Doctor. A bit of the alien’s head’s brown skin sticks out behind it.  
Alice whispers: There he is.  
Doctor: Shhhh.  
The screen springs to life. A Dulvocian, a grotesque brown creature with wrinkled skin and two tusks that spring from outcrops on his chin (I wish I could draw), is on it. Alice grimaces in revolt.  
Dulvocian on screen: Greetings, Premon.  
Premon: Greetings, mister Felsan.  
Felsan: How is your mission progressing?  
Premon: Excellently, the government has submitted and resigned.  
Felsan: Do not think me a fool, Premon! This was not the bargain. Did you think you could trick me by picking some backwater level five planet? The Doctor smirks at Alice, who gives him an angry look in return.  
They do not even have Central Planetary Government!  
Premon: But, mister Felsan, this is merely the first stage. The other states are to follow shortly, if you accept.  
Felsan: You have twenty hours left. The screen disconnects.  
Alice whispers: I don’t understand.  
Doctor whispers: Neither do I. Hang on, I’ll ask him. Oi! He jumps off the ledge. What’s this about?  
Premon (low smooth strangely intonated voice): Insubordination will not be tolerated. Orders are to_  
Doctor: Don’t bother, that’s not going to work.  
Premon: Oh, an intellectual, fine. How did you get in here? Who are you?  
Doctor: I’m the Doctor and we’ve got a problem.  
Premon: The Doctor? I have heard much about you. It’s truly an honour to meet you.  
Doctor: Why thank you, I_ Hold on, you sly devil, you almost had me distracted. Now, what are you doing here?  
Premon: I’m sure I can confide on you. I wagered Felsan I could topple a planet’s government within a week. If I succeed, he is to excuse me of my debts, if not; he will kill me and sell my intestines as a delicacy to cover the expenses.  
Doctor: A wager! You’re taking lives and endangering a planet for a wager. Your decadence sickens me.  
Premon: I do what I must to survive.  
Doctor: Couldn’t you have settled for a game of backgammon? Wait, what did you say?  
Premon: He’s going to sell me as food.  
Doctor: Before that.  
Premon: It’s a wager.  
Doctor: No no no, further back.  
Premon: I think I can confide on you, because I know the Doctor to be righteous.  
Doctor: Confide on me! You made a mistake! You actually master the language. Alice, to the TARDIS, now!  
Alice: I’ll see you there.  
Premon (lssiv): The intruders are to be executed on sight.  
Alice heads back through the hole in the wall, while the Doctor leaves through the guarded door that they passed before. Guards have to climb up the ledge to follow Alice, so she has quite a lead. The Doctor is also chased, but his pursuers are much closer, though briefly disoriented by the slamming door. Both are being fired upon. The Doctor reaches the TARDIS first, but he is locked out of the cell. Owen has woken up so the Doctor hides around the corner. Alice arrives after a while.  
Doctor: Open the cell, quickly!  
Alice opens the cell. Owen draws his gun.  
Doctor: Get inside! Alice enters the TARDIS. Owen fires his gun. The Doctor gets into the TARDIS and closes the door.  
Alice: Doctor, what’s going on?  
Doctor (while preparing the TARDIS for take-off): Well, the TARDIS translates all nearby foreign languages so we can understand each other. Because lingual errors hurt my ears, I have programmed it to correct all mistakes. When he said ‘confide on me’ I realized he has to master the language to be able to mesmerize these people. The TARDIS takes off.  
Alice: So?  
Doctor: He can’t learn every language on earth within twenty hours!  
Alice: That’s a good thing, right?  
Doctor: Hardly. Premon has meticulously planned the coup of Britain, near to no casualties were involved. He won’t have time for that now. He will simply order the masses to attack their government. The death toll will be huge.  
Alice: Would he really do such a thing?  
Doctor: As he said: He’ll do whatever it takes to survive.  
Alice: Then why are we going away?  
Doctor: The com room’s signal isn’t strong enough, even when boosted, to cover the entire planet. He needs a more powerful transmitter.  
Alice: So he’s going… She thinks. Back to BT!  
Doctor: Exactly. We need to get there first so I can disable the phone mast. Crash. Alice and the Doctor fall over. The TARDIS has rammed into the BT-building. The Doctor gets up.  
Doctor: We have arrived! He starts towards the exit but turns around and walks back.  
Oh, Alice, do you have an mp3?  
Alice: Yeah, why?  
Doctor: Could you play me a song while I work?  
Alice: This is hardly the time.  
Doctor: Just do it, will you?  
Alice: Fine, any preferences?  
Doctor: Anything’s fine, plug it in there. He points to a slot in the TARDIS.  
Alice puts on a song, the Doctor flicks a switch and a red light starts blinking.  
Breaking down the Barriers by Elton John starts playing.  
Doctor: Ah, Reggie, close friend of mine.  
The Doctor leaves the TARDIS and starts pulling wires in the control room and sonicing things; there are no people in the control room besides the Doctor.  
Alice: Doctor, hurry up; I can hear them coming. She steps out of the TARDIS.  
Doctor: I just need a little while longer.  
Premon: Time’s up, Doctor.  
A group of heavily armed policemen are walking into the room, followed by civilians, and training their rifles on Alice and the Doctor. Premon is standing behind them, a foot taller than the tallest policeman.  
Premon: And thank you for providing a live TARDIS; it will make translating my message much easier.  
Doctor: I’m not letting you into my TARDIS. He closes the door. The music can’t be heard anymore.  
Premon: You don’t have to. Just connect the TARDIS’ translation circuit to the transmitter mainframe.  
Doctor: Why should I?  
Premon: Otherwise I’ll have them kill you… and the girl.  
Doctor: Fine. He starts pulling some more wires.  
Premon (lssiv): The tower is to be prepared for global transmission. The civilians go to work.  
Alice: Doctor, do something!  
Doctor (while working): There’s nothing I can do. I’ve been defeated.  
Alice: How about all those people?  
Doctor: I can’t save them, getting us killed is not going to help anyone.  
Alice: I trusted you!  
Doctor: I´m sorry.  
Premon (lssiv): The systems are to be engaged!  
Doctor: So sorry.  
An ‘employee’ turns a lever. The system powers up.  
Premon: A message for the people of earth.  
The room is filled with ‘Breaking Down the Barriers’  
The Doctor lights up (figuratively)  
All around the world, all devices capable of emitting sound, play the abovementioned song.  
Doctor: Look, it’s an alien! Arrest him!  
The policemen apprehend Premon.  
Premon: No, stop! Lssiv: All personnel are to return to their posts.  
Police officer: Shut up! You are under arrest. Henson!  
Another policeman responds: Aye.  
Police officer: Call for backup. He cuffs Premon.  
Premon panics: What’s happening!?  
Doctor: A Dulvocian’s voice targets the same part a good song does; they both get stuck in your head. By playing the whole world a catchy tune I banished Premon’s words from their minds and made them immune as long as they have the song in their heads. I figured shrewd Premon would want to save himself the effort of learning a phrase in some thousand languages in twenty hours, so I recorded your song on the TARDIS and linked the recording device to the translation circuit. You, Premon, made me connect it to the mainframe. The power of Sir Reginald did the rest! To the police officer: I’ll take him off your hands. He shows the psychic paper. John Smith, extra-terrestrial investigations.  
Police officer: All yours. The Doctor shuts off the device, stopping the song.  
Doctor: Premon, get in the TARDIS. I’m taking you back.  
Premon: Please don’t; if you take me back, they’ll kill me.  
Doctor: I can’t leave you here; Felsan will track you down and tear apart the planet until he’s found you.  
Premon: If you don’t free me, you’ll never get your sonic plaything back.  
Doctor: Fine, keep it; it’s time for a new one anyway.  
Premon begs: Doctor, you can’t do this to me; there has to be something you can do.  
Doctor: Get in!  
Premon enters the TARDIS. ‘Breaking down the Barriers’ is still playing. (It has probably restarted.)  
Doctor: Alice, you too. They both get into the TARDIS.  
The Doctor is preparing the TARDIS.  
Alice: You know, for a second there, I thought you were going to sell us out, Doctor Smith.  
Doctor: I’m not actually John Smith, nor am I with extra-terrestrial investigations. I showed them psychic paper. It has them read whatever I want them to. He shows her the paper. If I’m not mistaken, it’s saying I’m an ice cream inspector now.  
Alice: So it’s still just the Doctor, then?  
Doctor: Yup.  
In the meantime the TARDIS has arrived at their next destination. The Doctor turns off the music.  
Doctor: Here we are. He opens the door. This is where you get off, Premon.  
Premon: Have you led me to my death?  
Doctor: Look around; does this look like a Dulvocian system to you?  
Premon: Where am I?  
Doctor: Where you can’t do any harm, and no harm will be done to you. Earth (somewhere in the past). If you lay low, you can spend the rest of your life untroubled.  
Premon (loathing): So unsophisticated.  
Doctor: It’s this or back home; your choice.  
Premon: The illusion of free choice, I salute you, merciful Doctor.  
Doctor: Goodbye, Premon.  
Premon: Goodbye. Premon leaves the TARDIS. The Doctor closes the door.  
The Doctor winces: Aah! He collapses.  
Alice (scared): Doctor! What’s wrong?  
Doctor: I’ve been shot.  
Alice: How? She kneels.  
Doctor: Back at the police station, Owen shot me in my leg.  
Alice: And now you notice?  
Doctor (nonchalantly): I’ve had worse. (Less nonchalant): Could you take a look at it?  
Alice: Yeah, okay. She looks at the wound. She looks disgusted.  
Doctor: Is it bad?  
Alice: I don’t know.  
Doctor: Can you take out the bullet?  
Alice: No!  
Doctor: Come on, I need you.  
Alice: But I’ll damage your leg even worse.  
Doctor: It’s no good to me like this anyway.  
Alice: I… I can’t.  
Doctor yells: Just do it!  
Alice looks frightened.  
Doctor (soothingly): Trust me as I trust you. I know you can do it. He points to a drawer. There’s tweezers in there.  
Alice fetches the tweezers and kneels back down.  
Alice approaches his leg with the tweezers.  
Alice whines reluctantly.  
She reaches in with the tweezers.  
The Doctor screams in agony.  
Alice pulls out the bullet.  
The Doctor sighs in relief.  
The wound starts healing, as if regenerating.  
Alice looks, silently.  
After a while, she speaks: What… Just happened?  
Doctor: Oh. Did I forget to mention I’m a Gallifreyan Time Lord? Hence the time travelling.  
Alice: You’re…  
Doctor: An alien, yeah.  
Alice: How did you do that?  
Doctor: It’s complicated. By the way, that trick won’t work next time.  
Alice: What do you mean, next time?  
Doctor: Oh, I’m sorry; I had assumed that, now that you’ve seen I wasn’t lying about being a time traveller, you’d like to come with me.  
Alice: I really would, but I can’t leave my mother. She gasps and quickly checks her cell phone. I’m an hour and a half late for dinner!  
Doctor: What’s the time?  
Alice: Half past seven.  
Doctor: Come on, I’ll take you home.  
The TARDIS materialises in front of Alice’s house.  
Doctor: We’re here.  
Alice: Will I see you again?  
Doctor: If you want to.  
Alice: Come visit sometime.  
Doctor: I’ll do my best. They pause, looking at each other.  
Run along now. Your mother is waiting. He steps out of the TARDIS.  
As Alice turns around and start walking to her house, the church tower bells start tolling.  
After six slow strikes, it stops.  
Alice stops dead in her tracks.  
Alice mutters: Six o’clock (louder): Six o’clock.  
She runs back toward the Doctor.  
The Doctor smiles.  
Alice (almost shouting): Six o’clock!  
She stops at the TARDIS doors.  
Alice: Is that offer still standing?  
Doctor: Changed your mind, have you?  
Alice: Can you keep doing this?  
Doctor: Most of the time. Either this or early.  
Alice thinks for a short while: That will do.  
Doctor: Welcome aboard.  
Alice jumps in.  
Alice (from the TARDIS, excitedly): Where are we going first?  
Doctor mouths (to the TARDIS): Thank you.  
Closing title.  
DOOO-WEEE-OOOOOH!


End file.
